


The Worst Time To Have a Heart Attack is During a Game of Charades

by KeightCopper



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Humor, Danny insults Steve a lot because that's how he copes, M/M, Please take these virtual tissues before you proceed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:47:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24213916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeightCopper/pseuds/KeightCopper
Summary: Steve McGarrett had this uncanny ability to make one Danny Williams do whatever Steve ask for. This one time Steve convinced Danny to "fake" marry him for reasons. Then Steve fucking died and left Danny to deal with everything else. It figures, the fucking neanderthal. Thanks so much, Steven!Or: That fic that was supposed to be rom-com (because duh it revolves around a marriage of convenience) but instead turned into an angst fic because McGarrett is shit at feelings.Re-published/edited May 15 2020Original Published Date April 10, 2020
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 11
Kudos: 54





	The Worst Time To Have a Heart Attack is During a Game of Charades

**Author's Note:**

> If you've read this before, nothing much is new except for the beginning and the ending and some grammatical and formatting error I spotted along the way... The story stayed pretty much the same: Steve is dead and Danny mourns his demise... I just cleaned it up a bit...  
> 
> 
> ****  
> This fic would diverge from canon early season 6, Steve proposed his crazy idea to Danny a few weeks after Cath left, two weeks after his not-date with Ellie...
> 
> Things that DID NOT HAPPEN  
> Adam going to Jail  
> The whole season six finale with Danny giving his liver to Steve.  
> Kono and Chin leaving Five-O  
> Nahele's father dying  
> Things that did happen:  
> Steve fostering Nahele three months after he met the kid.  
> Aunt Deb staying alive long enough to attend Steve’s wedding.  
> Steven Jack Aloysius McGarrett is Steve's full name because I said so.
> 
> Another warning: This whole fic is basically the denial/anger stage of grief for Danny, hence the almost irreverent way he describes Steve. Don't be fooled by it, he loves the neanderthal but he is grieving so, much insults to express his anger...

<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>

I wear this crown of thorns

Upon my liar's chair

Full of broken thoughts

I cannot repair

Beneath the stains of time

The feelings disappear

You are someone else

I am still right here

<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>

* * *

***November 1, 2017***

**Nu'uanu Pali Lookout**

*Late afternoon*

 _Williams-McGarrett_ ,

_Daniel James D._

Danny traces his name on his driver's license with his fingers. Show the detective fraudulent ID and he'd write you a comedic tragedy. 

And tragedy it was. The name change was not something Danny chose willingly, just like everything else that happened in his life for the past decade or so. He didn't choose to divorce Rachel, his ex-wife served him divorce papers after admitting to an affair she has with another man. Danny didn't choose to move to Hawai'i, Rachel took their daughter in the forsaken island, of course, Danny has no choice but to follow. Danny sure as hell didn't choose to leave HPD and join 5-0, he got conscripted into the service by a madman with self-preservation instinct of a cockroach, too bad that said madman didn't have the same survivability.

Speaking of the madman, everything else he'd endured and everything he has since he moved to the island, including but not limited to his house, his life, and his very identity is tied to one madman named _Steven Jack Aloysius McGarrett_. The neanderthal had somehow convinced Danny that it is imperative for the two of them to get married. Now the plan was simple, get married (fake of course), fix their problems, get unmarried, and then move on with their lives, separately but still close together. 

_"BFFs," Steve would say holding out a fist._

_"Of course, Forever," Danny would agree, bumping SEAL's fist with his own._

_"Yes, Danny that what BFF meant, Best friend forever."_

Of course, the promise of forever doesn't seem long enough especially when the one promising it tends to challenge his very own existence at alarmingly regular rates. So, unwittingly, the plan fails mid execution. No one knew of the extent of their lies and deceit but the two of them. Now Danny is left with the guilt and the lies and all the heavy burden. 

The thing though is none of it would have mattered if his jerk of a fake husband had the decency to stay alive until after they sort their ‘amicable divorce’ out. But then the fucker died and Danny lost his so-called husband, which is sad but what’s even more of a tragedy was that he lost his best friend. Danny lost the only person he could turn to in both trials and triumphs, he lost the one man he trusted with his life, the only person he'd ever been truly honest with. 

It all started out innocently enough, the need to pretend to be together. Steve found out about Catherine planting bugs around his home three months after the lieutenant left. Of course, he decided that the solution to that was to marry Danny. How Steve leaped from ‘got betrayed by my ex-girlfriend who is spying on me’ to ‘I have to fake!marry my best friend to find out why’ was still something that puzzled the detective.

No matter how many times Danny replayed it on his mind he still can’t seem to grasp why.

* * *

_***December 2015***_

**_“Marry me?”_ **

_And that’s how Steve ‘proposed’…_ the fucking bastard.

_They were cruising down H1 on their way to another crime scene in Kapolei. The SEAL’s eyes focused on the road, side glancing at his partner for a second or two, before returning his focus straight ahead as if he just commented on the weather instead of making the question a lot of men dreaded to ask._

**_“Marry me?”_ ** __

_“What?!” Danny squeaked in surprise. “Are you practicing on me right now? Is that how you did it with Cath? Well, no wonder she left you.” Danny rudely commented. He belatedly realized what a cruel thing it was to say to someone who just got dumped but he knows Steve can take it. And that’s how their relationship works— always with a sharp edge of hostility in their conversations with each other. Steve would know he didn’t mean it— or rather that he meant it in the nicest way he could possibly mean it. The detective tries to convince himself of this but that doesn’t mitigate the sting of guilt. And he was so busy trying to rationalize the validity of his words that he missed the first few that his friend uttered._

_“—never even asked Cath and I surely won’t now—” See the guy clearly didn’t even process the insult, why should Danny even care to be guilty. “—So if you would please answer me this: Will you marry me?”_

_Instead of answering Steve’s proposal, Danny decided that the best course of action was to continue on his previous line of inquiry. “Okay, who is it? Who were you planning on proposing to this time? Is it that girl you almost had killed on your first date? You never even told me her name, how can you marry her? The one your best buddy sparring partner Ellie introduced right? You just met her like three weeks ago isn’t that too fast, especially for you. ‘Slow-poke McGarrett’ should have been your call sign instead of smooth-dog. It took you, what? Something like twenty years to even decide to propose to Cath.” Danny said deliberately trying to goad his partner into an argument maybe that would derail his—_

_“Okay, three things. One, you don’t use real name on call signs cause the very purpose of those things is to conceal identity in case an enemy is listening in. Second, I only knew Cath for a little more than a decade. I met her five years before Five-O started so no it didn’t take me twenty years to decide to propose, which again I never did go through that plan.” Ah, there works like a charm. Hopefully, then Steve will forget—“And third, I mean it. Will YOU, Daniel James Williams,_ **_marry me_ ** _?” Okay spoke too soon, trust his partner to have one-track mind._

_“Okay since I can’t seem to pull you back here in the real world, let me just ask you this: why are you so intent on getting married?”_

_“Nahele needs a mother.” Steve cheekily answered, smirking sideways at him._

_“Then freaking ask the island date of yours from two weeks ago! She has the right equipment, I don’t!” Danny yelled in frustration. When back into a corner he tends to lash out, “For Christ sake Steve, you’re straight and I’m, well admittedly not as straight as you are but neanderthal has never been my type.”_

_Steve’s smirk fade into a serious expression. “All kidding aside though, it would help if Nahele had another parent. Not a mother per se, just another adult to help guide him to become a better man. I figured his best bet was you.”_

_Danny stayed silent, still angry at Steve for being confusing and all. Though he’s feeling a little bit mollified by Steve’s words. Still, he figured, staying silent for a few more moments to collect his thoughts was warranted._

_“I told you when I started fostering Nahele a couple of months ago that I might proceed with adoption if Nahele agrees,” Steve explained. Danny remained silent, albeit with a pointed look, hoping it will make Steve keep on talking. It worked, surprisingly. “Ellie and her_ **girlfriend** _Lynn, who by the way is the same quote-unquote island date you mentioned. I’m supposed to take her and Ellie out that day but Ellie had to back out last minute.”_

_“Didn’t it occur to you that it was just a ploy of Ellie to get you two alone on a date.”_

_“Danno, when I said Lynn is Ellie’s girlfriend, I meant that she’s Ellie’s_ **_girlfriend_** _.”_

_“You might think you said two different things but you didn’t Steven.”_

_“Oh god Daniel can’t you be any denser?! Lynn is Ellie’s girlfriend, lover, significant other, soon-to-be wife—”_

_“Okay, okay, I get it!” Danny threw his hands up in mock surrender._

_“Anyways Lynn works at Department of Human Services, and as you know Ellie is a lawyer. Neither of them directly dealt with adoption cases before, but they are both familiar withthe process. So they took a look at Nahele’s case to see the chances of me actually getting to adopt him.” Steve took a long breath before continuing his explanation.“Since Nahele’s father is still alive he still has parental rights. Apparently being in jail doesn’t automatically terminate that right. So to move on into actual adoption we have to get the folks at the Department of Human Services to file for termination of parental rights. We actually have grounds for it due to the length of time his father was incarcerated and how long he has been in the foster system. Also, they think the fact I’m willing to adopt Nahele is a plus. Still, Lynn suggested that it would convince the judge more if I’m in a stable relationship. Something about a two-parent home being conducive family environment or something.”_

_“Any other person, I’d actually believe that reasoning but you’re_ you, _Steven. If you can convince the governor to continue to trust you to operate on this island with immunity and means despite the mayhem and destruction you would cause on daily basis, then it wouldn’t be hard for you to actually convince a family court judge to let you adopt Nahele. Whether or not you are married.”_

 _“Okay, you are right. Adopting Nahele is not the only reason I am asking to marry_ **_you_** _.” Steve admitted, deliberately emphasizing the last word. Danny pretended not to notice, while Steve continued to explain, “Cath, she kept calling as I told you,like clockwork. She’s spying on me and I have no clue—”_

_“Wait what did we suddenly change the topic? I thought we were talking about you marrying someone?” Danny interrupted._

_“Yes, we are. I’m marrying_ **_you_.** _” Great Steve turned his question into a statement. Good luck with changing his mind now._

_“Because Cath is spying on you?” Danny said confusion about the whole situation evident in his voice._

_“Yes,” Steve answered with a sharp nod._

_“That even more of an absurd senseless excuse! Adopting Nahele I could maybe understand, but marrying someone because your trust-issues are reeling its ugly head is way out there, partner!”_

_“It’s not trust-issues if someone’s really out there to get you,” Steve replied eyes firmly on the road ahead. His tone is calm and steady as he speaks but his thousand-yard stare betraying the emotions he stubbornly kept at bay. “I have reason to believe that Cath planted audio surveillance in and around the house. I pulled one off the counter in the kitchen. It’s not a government-sanctioned one. Well, not the US government. Or at least not officially, it was a Japanese-made tech. It might have been a rogue faction of the CIA, I’m just not sure which.”_

_“Because that’s what’s important determining that the spy gadgets are made in Japan than say fucking explaining how that Cro-Magnon brain of yours came up with the idea of a shotgun wedding— which yes it would be one because well two reasons. One, I’m not willingly marrying your ridiculous ass; and two, knowing you, you’d have Kono and Chin bringing actual shotgun and maybe have a grenade in your pocket just in case.”_

_“Only to ask them to shoot me in the face and/or blow myself up to save me from marrying you.” Steve quickly rebutted which only serve to annoy Danny more._

_“Hey you are the one who’s pushing for this sham of a marriage, so don’t turn it around on me now as if I’m the one pointing a gun to your head and making you pay a bride price. Because really I don’t have to put up with this abuse, especially since I can’t even imagine how you’d come to the conclusion that us marrying is the solution to all your problems.”_

_“If you would actually let me explain instead—”_

_“Well go on,” Danny cut him off then gestured to his sarcastic ‘I’m listening’ face._

_“I thought about disabling the bugs but I need to know why she’s spying and who she is reporting to. You know how these operations work, the minute they sense that they are compromised they would pull the plug on the surveillance and I would lose my chance at tracking whoever is behind all this.” Danny had to admit if a bit reluctantly that the plan has merit. If Steve wasn’t determined that Danny be the one he needs rope into a sham marriage, he would even admit that it is kinda genius. Sudden change in civil status would definitely throw off his ‘stalkers’ and Steve would be able to sneakily plan an attack of some sort.“And I need to set up a base so I could work on that.”_

_“So you don’t want Cath or whoever to think you are onto them so all the SEAL-style planning would be done at my house away from the Big Brother Love at yours.” Danny finished Steve’s explanation. Six years he’s working with the neanderthal now so he can make the same leap in thoughts that the man has. That doesn’t mean he understood or even approve. “But can’t you do all that at the Palace?”_

_“No, I suspect she has put bugs in there too because she’s been there too to help with that case. And my truck. And before you ask, this car is safe. I put signal scramblers in here shortly after you got it from the dealer. I routinely turn it on when we need it so even if they bugged this car they don’t have a reason to think that I did it because I am onto them.”_

_“And what makes you sure of that?”_

_“I may not know who they are but I do know how they work. They won’t pull surveillance they think is integral to the success of the mission unless they are absolutely certain they have been compromised.”_

_“And they won’t know they’re compromised because?” Danny knew the answer to this, of course, he just had to ask because he’s still thinking of arguments to dissuade his partner from his wedding planning._

_“Because we are announcing that getting married and they would be distracted by the announcement thinking that I myself am distracted with the wedding and all and they wouldn’t even notice that I am onto them already.” That was one winded explanation if Danny ever heard one but as much as he liked to deny it, he actually understood what his partner has been saying. “Now the only thing we need to do is let them know.”_

_“And how do propose we do that, Oh wise sage?”_

_“I figured we could talk frequently about the preparations for the wedding where Cath’s planted bugs could pick it up.”_

_“And when do you plan to do that?”_

_“As soon as possible, after we made the team announcement. We’ll set up a team meeting at Kamekona’s tomorrow afternoon after we break the news to the kids when we pick them up later. Also, I think we should say the wedding would be in a month.”_

_“Isn’t it too soon? You just announce you are marrying Catherine now you turn around and announce marrying_ **_another person_ ** _?” Danny purposely trying to take himself out of the equation for the nth time. Not that it works, but this whole conversation is turning Danny crazy hence the trying the same shit all over again._

_“You. I’m not announcing I’m marrying just any other person. I’m announcing to marry you.” Steve corrected rendering Danny’s efforts futile. After a beat when Danny didn’t dare reply Steve continued, “Anyways since you are the one who actually told Lou and Chin. It’ll be easy to say that I was actually not ever gonna propose to Cath and that my plan all along was to propose to you.”_

_“With that woman’s diamond ring that Lou saw and your son picked up from the jeweler, you are planning to propose to me?”_

_“If they ask, I’ll say it’s all part of the subterfuge.”_

_“Your whole face is a subterfuge.”_

_“That doesn’t even make sense, Danno.”_

_“Yeah just like this whole plan of yours.” Danny reasoned, turning in his seat towards his partner. “Let me ask you this, do you really think our team, you know, the one comprised of trained investigators are just gonna believe that we are hiding a secret affair for the past how many years despite us both having girlfriends at some point?!”_

_“Yes.” Steve nodded, stubborn in his belief in his plan._

_“Still doesn’t explain why you need this fake marriage ploy to pull this off.” Danny redirected after realizing that questioning of the logic of the irrational is futile. Instead, the blond went on suggesting alternate plans.“You know here in the modern world you don’t have to be married to live together. Heck, you don’t even have to be in a relationship to live together. Hey here’s a thought maybe we can say there’s a gas leak or black mold or something equally deadly in your house and I graciously offer you a place on my couch. That way you still have a reason to stay away from your house and we don’t have to get married.”_

_“That’s just it, Danno, we have to come up with flimsy excuses that would be easily disproven given time. Plus it surely benefits the both of us now and maybe in the long run.” Steve reasoned unreasonably._

_“Say I believe your own flimsy excuse, why would you think I would go with this harebrained idea of yours?” Danny asked making a mental note to ask later what Steve meant by ‘in the long run’ because that’s a phrase that should be clarified but priorities must be set and that one is only relevant if Danny agreed to the PLAN. Yes, he’s still deluding himself into believing he would say no to Steve McGarrett. “What benefit would our marriage be to ME? Because let me tell you gray hairs and high blood pressure are the only outcomes I imagine marrying you would get me.”_

_“You know about Rachel and Stan’s imminent divorce right?” Danny was about to comment on Steve’s entirely unsubtle conversation misdirection but before he could open his mouth Steve dropped yet again another info bomb. “Now that Stan and Rachel are legally separating, she started dating this lawyer. I had my SEAL contact check him. Mick told me that the guy specialized in Family Law and mostly focusing on custody cases. Mick followed Rachel and this new guy to an upscale restaurant in Waikiki and they were talking about your custody situation.”_

_“Wait you put a SEAL version of a tail on my ex-wife?!” Danny may not be Rachel’s biggest fan right now because of her lies but she’s still the mother of his kids and she doesn’t deserve the full brunt of Steve McGarrett’s interpretation of the Right to Privacy. The detective tells his partner as much. “Are you nuts? Rachel may be the she-devil, Queen of Truth-bending, Protector of unending lies but that does not mean you get to be all Nick Fury, the spymaster on her.”_

_“Danny I didn’t go Nick Fury on her. I got no patch and I’m too white to full him off.”_

_“Don’t you know that the original Fury isn’t even black? He is as white as pure-driven snow. Not that I begrudge—”_

_“Begrudge?” Steve took his eyes off the road to smirk at him._

_“Eyes on the road please, and yes, begrudge. Like how you begrudge me with my choice of words and idioms and everything I freaking say.”_

_“I know what begrudge means but is it really necessary to use it in our conversation?”_

_“Yes because I’m telling you that I don’t begrudge Marvel for race-bending a white character because hey props for them for not having a white-washed cast.”_

_“Look at you, I didn’t peg you for a comic book nerd.”_

_“Well, there are things you don’t know about me,” Danny replied. “And don’t think I didn’t know what you were doing. You were deliberately misdirecting the conversation thinking I would forget what we were talking about but I don’t.”_

_“And what were we talking about, Danno? I couldn’t actually remember with all your ado about nothing.” Steve said deliberately choosing his words hoping to bait the detective into another rant but Danny was unto him and he sure as hell won’t fall for that again._

_“We were talking about how you have put a tail on my ex-wife which I shouldn’t really be surprised about given that you did the same thing to your own mother.” Danny reminded Steve “What really bothers me though is why you think it was all that necessary. Weren’t you the one who told me to give her a chance?”_

_“No, I told you to put your anger aside. I didn’t say to give her a chance because you shouldn’t. Especially not a chance to take you for a fool and take the kids from you. Again.”_

_“The hostility coming from me was understandable but from you, I just don’t get it.”_

_“Two years ago. Grace’s custody case. You were a wreck, Danny. I had to do something.”_

_“And you did you there for me I remember that. And I appreciate you being my SEAL in shining dress blues.” Danny conveyed his gratitude and stayed silent knowing that Steve has something else he needed to say and it’s something Danny needs to hear._

_“I had a talk with Denning before the family court hearing. I was asking him for a favor.” Steve confessed real reason he had the dress blues on back then. “He said he cannot and would not use his office and position to grant personal favors. I disagree, of course. Anyways, long story short, we were getting nowhere with the talk. I got frustrated then I left his office.”_

_“That was why your tie was askew when you arrived.”_

_Steve nodded his assent before explaining, “Remember when he called me in the middle of you talking in front of the judge and I had to leave?”_

_“I remember it was actually_ **_you_ ** _talking which he interrupted.”_

_“Yeah, he called me to say he changed his mind if only I’ll help him with a case.”_

_“Ah, I knew that case with Denning had a catch,” Danny said remembering that one case with Denning’s senator friend being framed for murder._

_“Yes, I had a deal with Denning. If we manage to clear the case without the media coverage ruining the Senator’s chance at re-election, he would pull the strings with the family council to rule in your favor.”_

_“I suspected but it’s nice to have confirmation. I knew that my custody win was much too suspicious to be just a miraculous event.”_

_“Doesn’t mean you deserve it any less.”_

_“I know. Thank you.” Danny didn’t specify for what but he figured Steve would understand either way. After a bit, Danny decided he would trust Steve’s instincts and ask more about Rachel’s new man. “So tell me again about this lawyer guy.”_

_“Yes. The guy’s name is Stefan Huntington. Family Law. He’s handling Rachel’s divorce with Stan. He has married twice but not a single kid with either of his ex-wives. He’s a pretentious ass and doesn’t like children obviously. You can’t let Grace and Charlie, live with that guy. So you need to marry me. We can file for primary custody. You have a much higher chance of winning.”_

_“I have a girlfriend you know.”_

_“A girlfriend that you only remembered just now to enter in the argument when we have been talking about this for what I dunno, half an hour?” Steve asked rhetorically. “Are you even still together?”_

_“We are taking a break and she went back to New York.”_

_“Yes, a permanent break.” Steve retorted._

_“Not a permanent break.” Danny volleyed back but at Steve’s skeptical look he conceded, “Okay maybe. I don’t know, we haven’t talked about it.”_

_“Danny it’s been six months and she hasn’t come back on the island she wasn’t even there when Charlie was sick you were at the hospital donating your bone marrow. How can you honestly say she would care about your kids enough to help you with gaining custody? Plus Grace doesn’t even like her.”_

_“You don’t know that. Grace and her only met each other four times.” Danny tried to deny, but his protest was weak._

_“Exactly. And you’ve been together for what eighteen months now? The only thing Grace knows about her is that she’s too young for you and her ex-husband almost stabbed you to death.”_

_“That’s not her fault.” Danny reasoned. It wasn’t Am—er Melissa’s (Danny’s still getting used to calling her by her actual name) fault that she had a crazy ex. “That guy was a deranged lunatic.”_

_“Your kid doesn’t even know what her name is. She calls her Ambelissa. No wonder she doesn’t like her. And Charlie doesn’t like her too, says she’s too smelly, I figured he must not like her cheap perfume.”_

_“How do you know all this? Did you put a tail on the rest of my family too?”_

_“No Danny. I talk to your kids. You’ve seen me spend time with them. I took Grace’s class on a day-hike that time you were in Jersey. And Charlie and I have our Sunday ice cream date since he got out of that hospital.”_

_“Yes remind me how you have hijacked my kids too,” Danny grumbled. “I don’t get how you get to have weekly ice cream dates with MY son when_ **_I_ ** _don’t even get to see him every Sunday.”_

_“Hey, you were the one who hijacked my kid first.” Well, that’s true. Steve started fostering Nahele six months ago. The teen lived with Steve and when he went back to school the only sport with open tryouts was baseball. “Don’t think I forgot that he ditched our usual game of catch and instead he came to you for baseball training.”_

_“Hey it’s not my fault that the kid is interested in a sport I’m clearly far superior at. It is only logical that the kid asks help from the more knowledgable and better-equipped parent.”_

_“So we are in agreement that we practically co-parent each others’ kids already. See all the more reason for you to agree to marry me Danno.”_

_“I- I” Danny stutters, trying to think of a reasonable reply that Steve would find acceptable and logical but the words just failed him. Steve’s absurd logic and preposterous suggestions clearly broke his brain._

_“I take your silence as a yes. It’s gonna be great.” Steve grinned mischievously and Danny can’t help but be reminded of that day Steve hi-jacked him to be his partner. Come to think of it, Danny is quite sure the animal flashed the same grin then. That’s when he knew he was screwed._

* * *

That was almost two years ago. And it still makes Danny wonder if it was his fault all along. He tries to tell himself every day that it was Cath’s decision to leave that pushed Steve to go unhinged but that doesn’t keep Danny from wondering if maybe he could have done something.

When Catherine came back, Danny was worried about the effect it would have on his friend if she would decide to leave again. So he actually had reached out to Catherine to find out what her intentions are. It’s what he would do for a brother. And Steve is/was his brother in spirit. He would have done the same for Chin. Heck if his brother was alive and in the same predicament he would have done the same for him too. So that’s what he did. He asked Cath if she planned to stay, his words sounding more like a plea, not for himself but for the sake of his best friend’s heart.

 _There is nothing that I want more,_ Catherine uttered the words with strong conviction, and Danny believed her.

Looking back, Danny realized Cath purposely evaded his questions by saying all those pretty words. She never really promised to stay but that’s what Danny heard her say because that’s what he wanted to hear. It was foolish of him and it was manipulative of Cath. But it happened and is the one who has to live with the consequences. 

So maybe not everything was Steve’s fault because maybe a bit of blame falls on Danny too. If he only realized that Cath didn’t actually mean to stay, he might have tried harder to persuade Steve against proposing. If he wasn’t so gone on trying to be positive and against his nature, he would have seen that Cath wasn’t back to reunite with Steve and the rest of Five-Oh. Then maybe he could have warned Steve about Catherine and put seeds of doubt that would make the SEAL guard his heart better.

Maybe then Cath wouldn’t have had a chance to plant to bugs and push Steve to make the decisions he did. Maybe then Danny wouldn’t have ended up married to a now-dead guy. Maybe he won’t feel like the fraud he is, lying not only to the whole world but also his trusted friends.

Their arrangement was born of convenience, to benefit them both. They were not marrying out of love but it’s still as real as the paper they put their signatures on. That said they were both able to rationalize the truth-bending they did with their friends. They of course planned on eventually tell their team the truth and hoped their friends would understand their motivations and forgive them for their duplicity.

But Steve’s death put things into perspective. Because now Danny could not figure out how he would even begin to explain to his friends that it was all an act, that none of it was meant to be real.

He couldn’t because they have all thought his relationship with Steve was real and they have supported both of them since they have announced their engagement. No one even questioned it. The lie they both concocted was warmly welcomed and accepted.

* * *

_***The week before Christmas 2015***_

_It was a sunny Wednesday afternoon. The task force was on a stand down and the team planned to meet at Kamekona’s to celebrate the rare opportunity to enjoy the afternoon without some kind of criminal ruining their collective zen._

_The entire Five-Oh Taskforce and all their friends including Jerry, Max, and Kamekona were gathered around the table, some of them enjoying their food while others were conversing as they wait for their orders to be served. That’s the scene that Steve and Dannyhappened upon when they arrived._

_“Guys we, that is Danny and I, um… WE have an announcement to make!” Steve enthusiastically announced. They all stopped what they are doing as they waited for the big Kahuna to tell them whatever he wanted to tell them._

_Kono was first to comment, “Stop trying to prolong the suspense, Boss.”_

_“Yeah McGruff tell us.” Jerry agreed, just as curious to know what’s the boss man’s excitement was all about._

_“Any day now McGarrett or I might just shoot you for interrupting my lunch break.” Lou threatened when he got tired of waiting for the commander to continue_

_“Okay, okay. No need for violence, Lou. We just wanted to tell you all at once that Danny and I are getting married!”_

_There was a beat of silence before the group chorused, “Oh finally!”_

_“Congratulations, Brah! Both of you! We’re all glad you guys finally got your head out of your asses.” Kono said giving Steve a bro clap/hug and then turning to a stunned Danny to do the same._

_“Yeah what cuz said. Though maybe less explicit than that.” The more mature of the two cousins commented._

_“All that couples counseling finally paid off huh, McGarrett.” Lou stood up, and much like Kono, he gave both of them a half-hug and a pat on the back._

_“Commander, I must also express my sincere felicitations to this joyous occasion.” Max stayed on his seat but beamed happily at the couple._

_“This is a momentous occasion indeed!” Jerry agreed, a big smile on his face, as he stood up and took his turn at hugging it out with the duo. “Congrats to your impending union, Commander!”_

_“Yes! This is the perfect opportunity for me to launch my new catering business.” Kamekona, not one to miss any chance on expanding his entrepreneurial horizons, grinned at the newly engaged couple.“A Taste of Kamekona’s Aloha, ten percent discount to my second favorite Law Enforcement Power Couple!”_

_“Thanks, big guy!” Steve replied before he registered what the entrepreneur had said, “Wait someone else beat me and Danny for your favorite Cop Super Couple?!” Steve ask incredulously to which Kamekona have promptly replied._

_< <<“Yeah no one can beat the crackling chemistry between Cybill Sheppard and Bruce Willis as Maddie and David in Moonlighting.”_

_“They’re not even cops they are private detectives. Heck they are not even real private detectives” Steve complained not at all amused at being second to fictional characters. >>> _

_Danny tuned out what Shamu said and Steve’s bellyaching.Mostly because he was busy feeling incredulous himself at the group’s lack of any other reaction to the announcement of their relationship than that of happiness and acceptance. No question or suspicion at the sudden turn of events. And since no one is batting an eye at Steve’s ridiculous pronouncement, Danny felt it his obligation to point out the insanity._

_“Wait that’s it?!” Danny whisper shouted catching the attention of the rest of the group who were busy being amused by the conversation between their leader and the business-minded reformed crook. “Y’all just gonna stand there clap our backs and congratulate us. No questions asked? No angry outburst?”_

_“What Danny? Why are you expecting us to get angry?” Kono looked to the blond with genuine confusion._

_“I can understand Detective Williams’ concern Officer Kalakaua.”_ Finally someone with half a brain and a bit more common sense _, Danny thought, feeling relieved and vindicated that someone at leastunderstood how insane all this is. Of course, his mental celebration was a bit premature as Max said something way off the mark. “Law Enforcement Community are not usually accepting of a same-sex union like that of his and the commander’s relationship. It’s not quite unusual for someone to expect a hostile reaction when they do decide to ‘come out.”_

_“And is that why you’ve kept your relationship from us? You don’t feel safe to share it with us because you don’t think we would accept you?” Chin asked concern evident in his voice._

_“No, of course, we knew you are all accepting, that’s why we felt safe to tell it to you guys now that we are sure of this,” Steve said as he grabbed Danny’s hand to show that he trusts them enough to show this tad bit of affection he has for his partner. “Danny was just—”_

_“Shocked that no one finds this relationship suspicious. The timing I mean. I thought at least you Chin would question it since he just announced that he’s proposing to Cath not even two months ago. Or you Lou you’re the one who told me about that girl he had an island date with just a couple of weeks ago. Now you all just what? Accept that me and Steve are marrying all of a sudden?!”_

_“Actually I was more surprised when you announced Steve was proposing to Cath, Danny,” Chin told the blond. “If you weren’t so determined to pretend to be happy for Steve I would have decked him then and there because it’s obvious you two started something before Cath came back into the picture and well I hate to see one of you getting hurt.”_

_“‘Cuz is right, Danny.” Kono was quick to add, leaning into the table. “I was actually really close at decking the bossman too but you were the one acting overly and overtly happy that the big kahuna is proposing to someone else so I figured if that’s how you wanna play it…” Kono trailed off finishing his sentence with a wave of a hand and a sip._

_“Yeah, what these two said,” Grover agreed, “And as for the island date McGarrett went to, well I thought that’s just him freaking out at realizing he actually love you, Danny. I mean I thought that was what the proposal fiasco was about too. So now I’m actually glad that you both pull your head out ya’ ass and make honest men outta each other.”_

_Danny was actually so dumbfounded at the sincerity of his team’s speech that all he could utter was, “Huh?”…His mind though was quick to think, ''_ What the fuck they actually believe this shit?!’ 

_“See Danny, I told you nothing to be worried about.” Steve grinned at him, eyes twinkling in amusement at the blond’s momentary speechlessness._

* * *

With how warm and accepting their friends and family are how could Danny begin to tell them it was all a lie?

Steve insisted that they couldn’t. Not because they don’t trust their team, but because of Chin actually.

* * *

_They are cruising down the H1 when Danny brought up the idea of letting the team know about the real reason for the marriage. Steve, though wouldn’t hear it. Even putting up a wall of silence when Danny won’t quit with the conversation. Not that the ‘wall’ worked, it never did._

_So Danny asked again, “I just couldn’t get the reason why you would not tell the team about the ‘actual’ plan.”_

_“We already did. The plan was to get married and we told them.”_

_“Don’t be an obtuse motherfucker, Steven. I meant the WHOLE plan. With reason and all.”_

_“Chin,” Steve answered. And Danny was dumbfounded for a second._

_“What the hell has Chin done to make you doubt his loyalty to us?!” Danny asked irritated on Chin’s behalf because he spent six years working with the man and never once had Danny doubted his integrity (well at least not since that time he went back to HPD and arrested Steve.)_

_“I trust Chin. It’s Abby that I’m not ready to trust. At least not yet.”_

_“What’s that gotta do with Chin though?”_

_“Chin is making moves on Abby, and I’m not saying he’ll go blabbing our secrets to her if we tell him not to.”_

_“So what’s the big deal then?”_

_“Secret like this affects the team, and Abby’s part of that team for now. If we tell Chin, Lou, and Kono, it would leave Abby as the odd man out so to speak. That could potentially put a strain on Chin and Abby’s budding relationship and we don’t want that. There’s enough on their plate as it is.”_

_“So we lie to our teammates to protect Chin’s potential relationship with a woman we don’t even know if we could trust.”_

_“When you put it seems ridiculous but look at it this way if we tell the team, including Abby, and she turns on us, Chin would feel betrayed AND guilty because not only did he trust her, he also trusted her to keep our secret. But if we don’t tell them anything, then we don’t even have to worry about that scenario.”_

_“And the kids? Do we what lie to them too?”_

_“Say we tell the kids, Danno, then what? They get worried. You know they will and no matter what we say.”_

_“So we’ll just keep this thing between us?”_

_“Yes, we do, Daniel. Yes, we do.”_

* * *

So they planned the wedding as if it were actually real. They filed an application for their marriage license. They decided to do the ceremony three weeks after they got their license. Steve decided he’ll be the one to worry about all the expenses, which surprised Danny so much he lost the ability to argue about it for a while. Later on, Danny insisted on paying for half of the expenses. In the midst of tackling suspects and engaging in firefights, they went back and forth and argued about every item on their wedding checklist. It was a very chaotic three weeks and everyone on the island knew about it.

Eventually, everything fell into place and the wedding day came without a hitch. (Pun may or may not be intended.)

* * *

*** First week of January 2016***

_The wedding went smoothly. Or as smoothly as a wedding could be when not just one but two members of Five-Oh Taskforce are the ones getting married. Miraculously, there was no dead body coming alive, a deadly plague, or a bomb scare threatening to decimate the whole of O’ahu._

_In all actuality, Danny prayed for divine intervention in the form of a state emergency to delay the inevitable but alas his prayers went unheard. Steve managed to switch off his internal trouble magnet and the Governor decided to grant the whole team leave for the week of their wedding._

_They got married at Queen Emma’s Summer Palace and about half the island was invited. Originally they both thought about having a small ceremony and doing it at Steve’s place because that would be cheap and they won't have to worry about whether or not Cath and whoever she works for would get the news of their nuptials for they would have heard it happening live. However, later on, they(read: Steve) decided that they need to go all out if they wanted anyone to believe their act._

_And so it happened. The ceremony itself was a blur to Danny, who still couldn’t believe he let a crazy neanderthal talk him into marriage. The only thing that Danny could vividly remember was their first dance. It was very unlike how Steve danced with him at Kono’s wedding, all fun and full of twists and turns._

_“And now for the newlyweds’ first dance.” Nicky ‘The Kid’ Demarco who insisted on being the master of ceremonies at their reception announced._

_“Danno, come on. It’s our wedding you have to dance with me.” Steve had to drag his reluctant ass to the dance floor as the Nicky crooned to the tune of a Bruce Springsteen song,_

**_Some need gold and some need diamond rings_ **

**_Or a drug to take away the pain that living brings_ **

**_A promise of a better world to come_ **

**_When whatever here is done_ **

**_I don't need that sky of blue, Babe_ **

**_All I know's since I found you_ **

**_I'm happy when I'm in your arms_ **

**_Happy, darling, come the dark_ **

**_Happy when I taste your kiss_ **

**_I'm happy in a love like this_ **

_“Seriously? Happy?” Danny raised a judgmental eyebrow. “That’s the song you chose for our first dance?”_

_“I thought you like Springsteen?Since he’s from Jersey and all.”_

_“I do.” Danny conceded, lips twitching as he suppressed the urge to smile._

_“Good.” For the rest of the song Steve just held him close, as they slowly swayed to the beat. No more words were exchanged but the warmth freely traveled between their bodies._

* * *

After the wedding, life return to their approximation of normal. Danny loathed to admit it but being married to Steve wasn’t all that bad or all that different really. He was still the same Steve, an infuriating, grenade loving, gun-toting neanderthal of a hunk. Things between them didn’t change much but it surely intensified.

Steve liked controlling everything in Danny’s life, from driving Danny’s car to deciding what they eat. Only now it’s not only lunch the neanderthal decides it’s every meal they have together, breakfast, lunch dinner, and the snacks in between. He also fully co-opted (insurance and all) Danny’s car when his own truck got blown up when a serial killer got a hold of it. He did compromise and got Danny the latest Chevrolet Tahoe in return. Danny didn’t know whether he wanted to punch Steve for getting him a soccer mom car or actually thank the man for getting him a spacious enough car that could fit their three kids and room for all their various sports equipment.

Everything else was copacetic. They even managed to reclaim Steve’s house six months after the wedding when some lunatic (read: Eric) accidentally lit the house on fire, rendering all the bugs Cath planted basically useless. Danny felt guilty for unleashing his nephew on the house Steve grew up in. And no amount of yelling at his nephew assuage that guilt.

* * *

***June 2016***

_“What the hell Eric I asked you to clean up your Uncle Steve’s place not render it to ashes! How are we supposed to rent it out now?!” Danny looked around the scorched up living room_

_“I swear Uncle D, I never—”_

_“Lay off the kid, Danno.” Steve interrupted, which Eric took as a cue to get out of dodge. “If I remember correctly you’d also almost burned the house down that time I thought I could trust you to house sit.”_

_“How many times do I have to tell you I was making a frittata and the keyword in that sentence is almost. There was like little smoke then you freaked out like a Freaky McFreakson.”_

_“It no such thing aslittle smoke.”_

_“You’d think that but see, I thought there’s no such thing such as a Freaky McFreakson but here you are in front of me, so I think in this case the saying that there’s no such thing such as ‘there’s no such thing’ is apt.”_

_“You lost me at the first ‘there’s no such thing,’ what are we talking about?” Steve asked with a furrowed brow._

_“I’m not surprised your idea of communication is dropping a witty one-liner and shooting people in the face.”_

_“And yours is putting words together and hoping that it makes sense, which rarely does.”_

* * *

The rebuilding took some time but they were able to move in only six weeks after reconstruction started, year and a half after they got ‘fake’ married. They got primary custody of both Grace and Charlie after Stan and Rachel split that year. Grace loved being able to design her own room from scratch. Nahele, who was by then officially adopted, was grateful enough just to have a bedroom to call his own, he used to share a room with Eric at Danny’s place. Even Charlie got excited about being involved in painting his own room and picking his fire truck bed. 

They also manage to officially get their HQ bug-free, after Gabriel Waincroft sent that computer virus into their system. Then a week after they figured out that the bugs that Catherine planted was not for some rogue CIA faction, or rather it was but it wasn’t assinister as they initially thought. It was Doris being her creepy self, spying on Steve. They also figured out that Mary has had her own set of bugs planted in her apartment to watch her and Joannie.

With all the reasons they have for getting married seemed to be resolved, so Danny began broaching the subject again with Steve.

* * *

***August 2016***

_“There are no bugs in your house and HQ is all cleared too. Also, I have custody of my kids settled in my favor. And Nahele is thriving after we adopted him. So tell me again why am I still married to you?” Danny asked Steve out of the blue as they are driving towards another crime scene._

_“What sick of being Mrs. McGarrett, Danno?”_

_“Two things,” the detective held up two fingers only to fold the second one back in, “First of all jerk, it’s MR. WILLIAMS-McGarrett. I didn’t spontaneously change gender and no amount of your he-man macho act makes me the wife in this not-marriage.”_

_“You did manage to assume the nagging part down pat though,” Steve quipped, smirk in place._

_“Yeah? Well to hell with your brand of deflection, McGarrett!” Danny raised his voice. “Which brings me to my second point. Don’t call me Danno and patronize me when I’m asking you a serious question, Steven.”_

_“Yes, Dear.” Steve teased. But before the blond could launch another rant he added, “Seriously though D, whenever you’re ready to move on with someone else I’ll gladly file the papers and have them expedited. But like you said Nahele is thriving, plus Grace and Charlie are too. Our kids are happy, I don’t know about you but I think it’s only logical to keep it that way at least until you’re ready to move on, don’t you think?”_

* * *

So they stayed married.

Because it the most logical thing as Steve said. Danny should have figured out that Steve has a death wish, what with talking about Danny moving on and never about himself doing the same.It almost felt like Steve didn’t plan to have a life after they end their marriage. Every time Danny would bring the subject up, about what Steve could do after or how Danny could be his wingman, help Steve find a girl to settle down with, Steve would get this unreadable look on his face. It puzzled Danny to no end, because he, for all his knowledge of body languages and his extensive knowledge of Steve's faces and gestures, he didn't have any clue on what is going on in Steve's mind once he sports this particular blank face. 

It frustrates Danny because he don't know how to react to that. So he starts ranting, which prompts Steve to put up a wall of silence, and the SEAL is an expert on those wall of silence. Then before Danny could figure out what happened, the matter is dropped and they move on to their next argument.

***

They never planned for Steve’s death at all. Or rather Danny didn’t. Which was incredibly stupid, to say the least considering the ridiculous amount of trouble Danny knew Steve could get into. The guy has probably spent all his nine lives and then some, so eventually, that luck has to run out. Blown up by a bomb in Mumbai of all places.

Danny got so used to having Steve that he wasn’t at all prepared to lose him so suddenly. Butapparently Steve was, prepared that is. Because apart from the mind-numbing visit from the Navy’s notification team, there’s the casualty assistance officer that the military send. Ellie Clayton, Steve’s lawyer friend arrived minutes before the CACO officers did about three hours after Danny was notified of Steve’s death.

Everyone in their ohana was in the house, by that time. So Danny directed officers to their private study and Ellie offered to assist, Danny having been numbed and all just nodded his acquiescence. He was then told about the process of claiming Steve’s remains. Danny was taken aback by the word because they didn’t even use the word body, they said ‘remains’ which is understandable since of course being blown up by a bomb meant being rendered into pieces.

There was a bunch of other information that went over Danny’s head as he was contemplating Steve’s gruesome end. Like how the military funeral was gonna be set up; how, since Steve was such a high profile military personnel who died in action, there would be a big memorial ceremony happening; how they could schedule the memorial ceremony to coincide with the funeral service unless Danny opted for a private family-only funeral, in which case they have to set up two ceremonies. One for memorial service open to the public and one with just the family. It was a good thing Ellie was with him because Danny was hearing all the information but really nothing was making sense to him.

All because Steve is **dead**.

He was quiet while Ellie asked all the questions. He just sat there with them. Hours had passed but Danny was left unaware. He didn’t even notice that the CACO officer already left. It was only when there was another knock at the door that he processed that he was alone in the study for quite some time.

* * *

_***October 25, 2017***_

_**A week before the Funeral**_

_Danny was still in a state of shock when two guys in a suit knocked on the door to their study. Ellie was there with them and informed Danny that these guys were the NCIS agents working the case._

_“Mr. McGarrett?” The silver-haired agent led the introductions, “I’m Special Agent Gibbs. This Special Agent McGee. NCIS. We’d like to speak to you about your husband, Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett. May we come in?”_

_“I guess,” Danny reluctantly let the two in. He didn’t even bother scrutinizing their credentials. If they wanted to kill me go ahead._

_“Mr. McGarrett—” In any order circumstance, Danny would insist on the use of his hyphenated name, cause sometimes it’s confusing for the two of them to be both addressed as McGarrett but he guessed that’s a moot point, cause right now he is the only Mr. McGarrett left._

_“I’m sorry you were saying?”_

_“Mr. McGarrett,” This time it was the younger man who spoke to him. “I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you and your family but it is important we ask you some questions.”_

_“Of course, I’m a cop. I know the drill. what do you want to know?”_

_“As you were told Commander McGarrett’s SEAL team was caught in an explosion on the way back to their base camp. We’ve possibly identified all the remains that were caught in the blast but one of them missing. Petty Officer Lincoln James,” The younger agent handed him a photo. “We believe he managed to survive the blast. The satellite image shows that Petty officer James was able to walk away from the blast but now he is missing.”_

_“What does this have to do with Steve? Or me?” Danny asked._

_“We have reason to believe that the attack was targeted specifically to kill Commander McGarrett.” The younger agent explained then inquired, “We want to ask you if you know of anyone that had a grudge or any reason to kill the commander?”_

_“I can think of a hundred suspects I know would give their left nut to have Steve killed and there’s probably a thousand more that I don’t know about. Steve spent most of his life in the SEALs and out of it, chasing and convicting bad guys.”_

_“_ _Any suspicious or unusual behaviors? The past few days before the commander deployed?”_

_“Not anything that comes to mind. Steve has always been the personification of suspicious andunusual though so I pretty much got used to his behaviors.”_

_“Any threats? Maybe suspicious phone calls?” Danny thought long and hard but he really could not recall any._

_“No, nothing.” Danny answered, “The most unusual thing that happened that week was getting the call that he was being deployed. His contract with the reserves is expiring by the end of this year. He was ready to fully retire from the Navy, so I thought maybe he’d do what he usually does.”_

_“And what does he usually do?”_

_“Well I don’t know much but I do know he’s training baby SEALs either aboard some Navy carrier or at the Base in Coronado," Danny said wearily. "Asfar as I know, the last time they tap him for an actual mission was two years ago.”_

_“Did he tell you where was his mission twoyears ago?”_

_“No of course not. He can’t tell me anything, you know that.”_

_“So nothing? Not even a hint?”_

_“My— Steve is a SEAL, All I know about his missions is that they are super-secret hush-hush to a point that even what he wears is classified. So no I don’t have a clue. But where ever it was, it’s most definitely some bug-infested hellhole and I know only because he can’t hide all those mosquito bites on his arms and legs.” Oh god, Danny remembers the weirdest things at the weirdest times, “He had a mild fever when he got back and we agued about him going to the hospital. I thought he might have like dengue or malaria or some kind of godforsaken disease. That’s all I remember about that mission.”_

_“How about his work at Five-Oh, the State task force?”_

_“Yes, we made enemies. But Steve’s good at his job. We all are. All our enemies are either dead or locked up.”_

_“How about Jovan Etienne?” The older agent asked while the younger man handed him a tablet with Etienne’s profile. “What do you know about him?”_

_“He is Victor Hesse's right-hand man. He was the one with Hesse when Steve’s father was killed. Last I heard he was transferred to US Penitentiary in Tucson.” Danny said as he read the profile in from of him. “Wait he escaped prison?”_

_“Three months ago along with three high profile inmates with Russian Mob connections.” The younger man explained before getting a look from his boss promptly shutting him up._

_The silent exchange between the two agents spoke volumes and usually, it was something that the keen detective would have caught on to but again Danny barely noticed anything anymore. Having been told that there’s not one, not two, but four dangerous fugitives on the loose in the world didn’t even seem to affect him, maybe because the danger has yet to dawn on him or because he’s too busy being paralyzed with grief. Either way, Danny can’t begin to properly process anything said to him since he heard the news about Steve’s demise._

_All Danny seemed to hear on a loop is **Steve is dead, Steve is dead, Steve is dead.**_

* * *

Before the funeral three days after NCIS came to visit, Ellie Clayton sat him and Mary down to go over the will Steve filed with her help. It confused Danny a lot since she’s not a family or estate lawyer. Danny told her just as much, "Um I thought you are a prosecutor, Ellie? Why do you have Steve's will."

To which she just said, _“Well Steve asked for a favor and I owe him and his Dad my life. Plus he doesn’t really trust lawyers so it’s either me or his barber, Odell or something, and he figured he’d better go with the more experienced one. Actually, at first I was reluctant cause it’s not really my field but when he told me that his second choice was Figaro, so I had no choice really but to save him.”_

_Danny cracked a smile at her for that, and for a second he wanted to say something witty back, but he quickly sobered up and remembered why they were gathered. Then he felt guilty for daring to have a fleeting moment of joy when Steve is dead, Steve is dead, Steve is dead._

As Steve's _widower_ , Danny gets everything Steve left, including the house, his truck, the Marquis, and his considerable bank account. Danny even gets Steve’s life insurance which is a two million dollar policy. He tries to refuse it and gave them all to Mary and Joannie but Steve’s sister is as stubborn as the SEAL. Mary insisted that the five-hundred thousand dollar trust fund that Steve gave her and the hundred thousand dollars trust he left for Joanie is more than enough blood money she got for losing her brother.

So Danny gets everything. Everything he doesn’t want and nothing that he does.

* * *

_***November 1, 2017***_

_**Day of the Funeral**_

_Joe White delivered the eulogy talking about the one time at BUD/s when Steve and his buddy Freddie got into a fistfight way past midnight in the pouring rain. Danny heard the story from Steve before right after he came home from a mission to bring back Freddie's body from North Korea. If Danny had his wits about him he'd be snickering and muttering about how comedic it is that Joe chose a story where both men he mentioned died in combat. Joe wouldn't appreciate Danny's humor, no regular person ever did, except Steve, and he's not here. So Danny bit his lip and tried not to laugh._

_Junior Reigns, one of the SEALs that Danny knew Steve mentored also spoke a few words. He spoke about how Steve was the bravest man he knew, blah, blah, hero worship, blah... Danny wasn't listening, not because he didn't care but rather because he ran out of fucks to give. He just watch the young man without hearing a word he said. After his speech, Junior laid his gold trident atop the closed casket and pounded it with his fist. It was an act that signaled to a hundred other SEALs to do the same until the whole casket was covered in gold._

_It seemed like all men and women in uniform in the whole State of Hawai’i was in attendance. Not to mention all State officials including former Governor Denning and Incumbent Governor Mahoe. Even the Vice-President and his wife were there. As was the former President and his wife. Plus various military brass Danny didn’t even know. It was too much of a public affair. Much like how Danny thinks a State Funeral would be like._

_Sure there was no riderless horse with boots in reverse or a 21 gun salute. Well, not the traditional cannon kind 21 gun salute anyway. Just seven men firing their rifle three times._ **_Yes, Steven I know it’s a three-volley rifle salute. You’ve explained the difference enough times that even I wanted to forget I can’t_ _possibly forget even if I want to_** _’ Danny thought and turned to say exactly just that only to realize that Steve isn’t beside him, as always in this kind of pomp and circumstance. He’s starting to realize that for the first time since the man pointed his gun at his face, Steve isn’t_ **_there._ **

**_He’ll never be. Not Anymore._ **

_That’s when Danny starts breaking down. Tears escaped unbidden, falling down his cheeks. It wasn’t long before he couldn’t feel his knees anymore. Like they just gave up without notice, as he fell to the ground. Chin who was behind him picked him up and help him to his chair, where he stayed seated for the rest of the ceremony._

_Charlie climbed into his lap and buried his face on his chest, still not understanding that when he was told, that his beloved Super SEAL was gone. Grace stood beside his chair, tears falling down her cheeks. And oh god, Nahele, the poor boy who lost another father, standing on his other side stoically staring ahead eyes as he tried to be strong for his family. The only thing betraying the teenage boy’s wrecked emotion was his tight grip on Danny’s hand, holding as if letting go would mean he’ll lose Danny too._

_He hates showing weakness in front of his children and of his team but he can’t help the grief consuming him. Steve may not be his real husband but he’s Danny’s best friend. It’s like losing his brother all over again except ten times worse because he doesn't have someone to get him out of this numbing grief, not when the most likely person to do that is the person he is grieving for._

_The rest of the ceremony was all a blur to Danny until Nahele let go of his hand and proceeded to take his youngest son from his lap. He turned to ask the boy why but then he noticed the honor guard turned to him. "On behalf of the President of the United States and the Chief of Naval Operations, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your husband's service to this country and a grateful Navy.”_

_He stared at it, long enough that it is causing a slight commotion. Finally, he opened his mouth to utter the words that shocked everybody._

_“No that’s not mine. That’s for someone with a dead husband. I don’t have a dead husband.” Danny turned to someone beside him, “Chin, Please tell this man—”_

_“Danny, please,” Chin took Danny’s hand in his urging him to reach out for the flag being handed to him._

_“No!” Danny shouted as he pulled his hand away and if he didn’t have everyone’s attention before, he has it all now._

_“Danny,” Chin whisper pleaded wary of the people now staring at them, “Just take it for now. We’ll talk later about who you want to pass it on to if you don’t want to keep it.”_

_“No, I won’t take it because I don’t have a dead husband and you got it all wrong I’m sorry.”_ _With that, Danny ran off leaving a bewildered crowd behind._

_As he neared the big oak tree close to where he parked the Camaro, he lowered his head to hide his face and tears from the scrutiny of a couple of men who lingered nearby. If Danny was paying close attention he’d have spotted a tall man face mostly covered by a full thick beard and the dark shades, who moved as if to grab at Danny only to change his mind the last minute before quickly disappearing in the crowd. By the time Danny wiped his eyes dry and looked up, the man was gone._

* * *

***Day of the Funeral, Six Hours After Danny ran***

Danny thought that was one dramatic exit he did back there. He never planned it but he needed to escape the madness. He could feel everyone feeling sorry for him and he can’t take it. After his breakdown at the funeral, Danny ran off to his ‘spot’ overlooking the ocean. The one only Steve knew. It was why he was half amazed that his team only took six hours to locate him. He purposely left his Camaro at the other end of the island and took a bus up in his spot thinking he could buy more time before they would locate him.

“That didn’t take long huh,” Danny said addressing his approaching friend without turning to him, instead of looking down at the gun in his hand as he sat on the ledge of a cliff overlooking the ocean below. “Good job Chin.”

“Not that good. You are one hard man to find Danny,” the Hawaiian said warily approaching his friend.

“But you found me. And I’m fine so you can call back the reinforcements I’m sure is just a few minutes behind you.”

“I will Danny but you have to hand me over that gun in your hand and get back over the right side of the barricade.” Chin was using a tone Danny knew all too well, it’s the ‘trying to calm the unhinged victim’ tone of voice that all cops seem to learn over time. “You don’t want to do this, Danny.”

“Do what Chin? If I wanted to kill myself, I would have already jumped over hours ago. Or I would have shot myself with this handy gun.” Danny said as he waved around the gun which only served to make Chin more worried so Danny had no choice but to disarm the weapon and throw the magazine and gun itself in the general direction of his friend to prove his intent. “There surely now you could call the rest of the guys off. I’m really not suicidal.”

“No, but grief can make people do stupid things they don’t mean to. I know. I’ve been there. When I lost Malia, I’ve thought about kicking the bucket myself a hundred times. Losing someone you love and care about, it changes you.”

“I know that. Steve is not the first best friend I lost, Chin. And again, I’m not suicidal.” The short detective stood up from where he was sitting, which again alarmed his friend thinking Danny still had the intention to jump. Chin slowly approach so that he is within grabbing distance should the detective try to jump. 

“But Steve isn’t just your best friend, Danny. That love you have it can be so consuming that sometimes it’s all you think about. Makes you forget about the rest of the world.” Danny turned to his friend to correct him

“That’s not me and Steve, we’re not you know. That’s what I meant back in there when I said that I don’t have a dead husband.” Danny confessed or tried to, he can’t seem to find the right words to explain his predicament. He didn’t think this is how he would reveal the truth about his and Steve’s marriage. “We’re not married. At least not in spirit. It’s not real.”

“Danny, it’s real. It did happen.” Chin said trying to reason with Danny, trying to sound confident but Danny could still hear the trace shock that’s evident in his voice.

“No, you don’t understand. Yes, it was all seemingly legal. Steve made sure the marriage would hold up to scrutiny. Probably the only time he actually did so, considering his seemingly supernatural ability to make up excuses to avoid doing his share of legal paperwork. This time he took care of everything. But itstill wasn’t real, Chin. Our marriage was part of an off-the-books operation he was working on. He told me he had the paperwork filed but with Denning. So only the Governor knows. Part of why the wedding was so big and elaborate was because we need everyone to believe it.” The former HPD Detective could only offer a look of forced calm to mask the growing confusion that Danny’s statement caused. “It’s not real.”

“Danny, I’m telling you it’s real,” Chin said looking convinced that Danny is losing his mind.

“And I’m telling you that it’s not,” Danny insisted. “We didn’t even file a marriage license. You can check with the county clerk’s office, you won’t find a marriage certificate.”

“Danny, I don’t know what to tell you right now. I know saw Steve mail in those certificates.” Chin still confused but trying to appease Danny, “If you want I could go to the county clerk with you check. But have to let me take you home.”

Danny answered him with silence, not knowing how else could he make Chin understand him. Only Steve would and he’s not **here**.

“Everything that happened that day is real, Danny” Chin loudly but calmly stated, “We attended your wedding. I was there beside Steve. And Lou was beside you. Flippa sang and Steve got Kamekona to cater at a 20% discount.” Again Chin employing a technique Danny knew all too well, presenting reality. (Or at the very least what he and the rest of the world think as reality because the marriage was not real) Chin must still think Danny is on the verge of a mental breakdown and/or is delusional. But what kind of breakdown does Chin think he’s having, Danny could only guess.

“Yeah ‘Taste of Kamekona’s Aloha’” Danny mused, “Kono was pissed I chose Lou and no amount of explaining that making her stand beside me would make me look more like a bride than I already am what with taking Steve’s name because the caveman wanted his name in everything he owns. So we made her officiate, I never thought it’s possible to get ordained in less than 24 hours but somehow Steve and Kono pulled it off.” Throwing his own anecdote of the past to try and prove to Chin that he is remembering and is not on the verge of a psychotic episode.

“Well you can get anything online these days,” Chin said with a rueful smile that reminds Danny he isn’t the only one who lost a friend. Despite the curl on his lips, it is quite evident from Chin’s eyes that he is grieving Steve’s loss too. But he keeps on the calm façade.

“I know what you are doing Chin,” Danny evenly intones, “And I’m telling you there’s no need for the whole ‘victim handling 101’ routine. I am fine. Yes, I’m grieving. WE all ARE. Because Steve, touched sociopath that he is, never failed to touch lives and make himself important in the lives of those around him. Heck, even his barber whatshisname was in the funeral crying his eyes out.”

“Odell.” Chin replied, to what question Danny wondered silently but it seemed that Chin could read his mind as he answered, “Steve’s Barber’s name. He was at the funeral.”

“Yes, Steve has been meaning to introduce us but I told him I’m not letting anyone obsessed with scissors and cutting hair near me, let alone someone crazy as him who left a lucrative career as a lawyer to be a barber of all things.”

“Danny, just step away from the ledge, let me take you home, let us take care of you.” Chin pleaded.

“I don’t have a home anymore, he’s gone, Chin. He’s gone. My best friend is dead.”

* * *

***November 1, 2017***

**Evening after the funeral**

Danny retreated to the study again the moment he arrived back at _Steve's house_. Chin joined him for a few minutes, probably looking around to see if there's anything in plain sight that Danny could use to harm himself. Yes, Danny knows he's on suicide watch. It's not necessary. Danny won't kill himself, not when there are three kids relying on him to be better.

Seemingly satisfied that there's nothing in the room that's sharp or anything deadly, Chin excused himself, to do what Danny doesn't care. Steve is dead and he just wants to be alone.

Danny sat down on the chair behind the desk, that's when he noticed the drawer is slightly ajar. He moved to close it properly when he caught sight of a paper inside the letters D A N clearly visible in an angle. Curious, Danny opened the drawer and happened upon and enveloped addressed to DANNO in a very familiar handwriting. 

> Hey Danno,
> 
> If you are reading this I’m legally declared dead and I’m sorry. By now, Ellie must have already talked to you about the will. The house is yours, and the kids. I already talked to Mare about it if you are worried about that. She'll still get her share since it's our parent's property but we both agreed she'll take the cash for it, I left a trust for each of our kids and Joanie. Rest of what I own is now yours. Maybe give the Marquis to 'Hele but make sure he takes care of it. The truck's Grace's, I taught her how to drive it don't worry, it's safer for her. You wouldn't want her is a small car that can easily be squashed in the road. I wished I have time to teach Charlie how to drive, ~~if not I talked to Duke, he offered to teach the kid, I don't think you should try teaching Charlie how to drive, I mean remember how it went with Gracie, whe you hydroplaned into a ditch because you kept nagging at her?~~
> 
> Anyways, as my husband, you are the executor of my estate, it's not much but I hope it's enough to send the kids to college. You'll probably think this is all a handout but Danny we had joint bank accounts before we even got married, this is actually nothing different. You can take it as a compensation for marrying me if you want but please take it and know I want you to have it. 
> 
> Speaking of marriage, by now you've probably figured out that I lied about how 'fake' our marriage was. It's legal in every sense of the word. There's no disputing it. It’s the reason I never wanted to tell anyone the truth. Not Chin, Kono, or Lou and certainly not the kids. Because Danny, it’s you it’s always been you.
> 
> I know it’s selfish, but I never claimed to be otherwise, I know you know that. I know I can’t ask for this, I can’t ask you to love me back, so I just took it. I took every excuse I could think of to get you to marry me. I’m sorry if you think I deceived you but the thing is I was hoping to eventually get you to love me back.
> 
> See I have a 10-phase mission plan. Operation Jersey Slip. I plan to succeed but as they say, no plans survive the first contact with the enemy. But if you’re reading this then I guess total mission failure, right? I hope so because I don’t want to be leaving you behind if I ever succeeded in getting you to love me. I want to have grown old with you. See the kids graduate. See Nahele become the best baseballplayer he aimed to be, see Grace walk down the aisle, see Charlie become whatever he wanted to be, which as of yesterday was the president of Mars.I want all of those. But those are just bonus because what I have with you right now? Playing family with you and the kids? That made me happy beyond what I could even imagine happy would be.
> 
> So just live your life and continue to be an amazing father to our kids, yeah? Don’t mourn me. I lived pretty much the best year of my life with you and Grace, Nahele, and Charlie this past year. I mean I don’t plan to die soon but again as you are seeing this I’m dead and there nothing I could say to that but I am sorry. And that whatever you think about the circumstance of my death, please know that I never wanted to live more because I love you, and the kids.
> 
> See you on the other side,
> 
> Steven


End file.
